My eyes are open but my body is heavy.  I wake up hardly able to move.  It’s only the third day of my detox but I feel like its been a week.  I started by eating raw for a day, then drinking fruit and vegetable blends the next day.  A gentle progression to the lemon master cleanse.  Its is said all the toxins begin to release and swirl around while you detox, and it can feel like flu symptoms.  And that’s exactly how I felt.

After Baby got well from his last cold, I decided it was time to tackle my own health.  I knew the key to getting grounded, focused and able to manifest – starts with cleansing.  I had been in a funk for days before starting this detox.  And I just did not want to feel that way anymore.  After I gathered the last of my fasting herbs, (yerba mate for energy on days its difficult to get out of bed and pau’d'arco to release yeast from the body) I wrote down my goals for fasting.

1. To come alive

2. For more energy

3. To make plans

4.To attract abundance

5. Most of all, for joy

I have not been happy for a long time.  I know in this state, no blessings can reach me.  It’s time to raise my vibration and shift my energy.  Husband takes Baby out for the day, so I am completely focused.  I allow myself to lay in bed a moment more.  It’s ok to rest, I tell myself.  I roll my limbs to the edge and set my feet on the floor.  Give thanks, I say.  I move into the living room and turn on my mantras.  The tones of Indian singing invigorate my senses.  Sage is lit, oil burner on.  I gather my lemons and slice one – bursts of citrus revive me.  A few sips of the combo and I’m ready for yoga.  Then breathing.  I chant, meditate and bathe.  I feel awesome.

Prayers are potent in state of sacrifice.  I sacrificed eating to get tapped in to the Almighty, and to get clear my next steps.  Its easy to get swamped in whats wrong.  But to orientate oneself to the betterment of this life experience, yields powerful results.  Everyday gets better and better.  I’m working on projects I’ve been putting off, and generating great energy around new endeavors.  Best yet, joy is growing.  Its a noticeable difference from when I was eating improperly.  I see the direct connection between diet and mood.  Live foods give energy, and energy manifests great things.

As I ease off of fasting, I resume eating with a raw diet.  My first dish is a seaweed soup made with avocado, cucumber, dulse, kelp, olive oil and sea salt, whipped until warm.  Besides the relief of eating again, I’m fascinated and excited that such amazing meals exist.  I have got to learn!  I can potentially stay in this mentally joyful, spiritually centered space by continuing my prayer regimen and eating raw.

I have been interested in raw food preparation for awhile, and even began the pursuit of school, but was discouraged by the price of classes.  In the midst of my manifesting cleanse, I get a call offering a scholarship to one such class.  This is real!  Fasting and prayer – makes things happen. My mind  begins to race with possibilities.  Ways I will use these skills to heal myself, my family, my community, and be a divine vessel for the Creator.  Thankful and motivated, I confidently continue the journey.

Baby is sick.  He’s waking up with eyes crusted shut.  His nose is running so bad that both nostrils are sealed shut from dried mucus.  We gotta do something. The immediate answer is fill a prescription we’ve been given, but have not administered because I was trying to cure his cold naturally.  He’s been coughing for over a week now and apparently the ginger, garlic, echinacea and goldenseal tea I’ve been concocting for him is not working.

A few hours later we are on the way to pick up the meds.  I usually don’t like to give my son medicine unless its absolutely necessary.  This was one of those times, but I knew the problem was bigger than a bad cold we couldn’t kick.  My son doesn’t eat enough fruits and veggies.  And even though I advocate healthy eating, I haven’t developed enough creative ways to get him to eat right.  We are, for the most part, pescatarian. But we’ve gotten in the habit of primarily enjoying different kinds of fish, in a vegetable stew, with a starch. We get our veggies in the stew, but Baby picks out the meat and eats the starch.  I settled into having him drink his veggies, by making his staple drink a store bought green smoothie.  Besides the fact that its bottled and not as fresh as homemade, its has loads of sugar.  Pour baby was inundated with meat, starch and sugar.  A recipe for mucus.

How could I let this happen.  Me, who is so into healthy lifestyles.  Or am I?  Perhaps I’m not as healthy as I thought.  My skin is in shambles, dry and coarse with eczema.  I have headaches and sharp pains in my womb.  Whats going on?  Whatever it is I gotta figure it out, and not just for me, but for my son.

My husband leaves on business and I’m left alone to the thoughts in my head.  I start making my shopping list.  I gotta get some chamomile for my tummy so it will chill out.  No more sugary bottled juice for baby, I’m gonna make it fresh.  Gotta get a blender.  I better do a master cleanse to clear out my system, so I need lemons and syrup.  Accessing my health always inspires me, and Baby’s cold totally motivated me.  I get right on it.

I blend  a mango, berry, ginger and spinach smoothie.  Baby sucks it down effortlessly.  His body knows what he needs.  The next drink I make, I add garlic.  Stinky but naturally medicinal.  He drinks and drinks.  I’m so excited he’s finally taking in vital nutrients.  This is not the first time.  He was grown in the womb on greens and I even pureed kale for him when he began eating solids.  But now at 2 years old, he’s become picky, and apparently diseased.  And I let him.  But not anymore.  I felt like a super hero.  Magic-Mom found a way to heal the baby with raw blended fruits and veggies.

I am by no means an expert at this.  And I’m not completely where I want to be. But health, wellness and spiritual elevation has always been a passion.  And I know the key to being my best self is by having the best health.  So this will be a journey to self.  A trip you are welcome to join me on.  I hope my journey is motivating and comforting to you, wherever you may be on your path to your best self.